Dr. Butch Losey
Helping couples with:
managing the crisis of infidelity,
deepening intimacy, and
bettering conflict resolution and communication skills
Counseling for Communication and Conflict​
Challenges with communication are a symptom of a deeper problem, so it is not unusual that the vast majority of couples come to therapy saying that they have problems communicating.
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Communication that is consistently open, anchored, regulated, intimacy-driven and open to the influence of the other will lead to healing of the deeper issues that exists in relationships. Without healthy communication, couples never get to the heart of relational problems and just replicate the same old arguments.
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When I help couples with communication problems, I recognize that putting healthy communication process in place is a vehicle to resolving long-standing hurts and resentments.
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In therapy, I will identify elements of healthy communication process and help you experience:
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*Communication that is open, characteristic of one partner being curious and the other meeting this curiosity with a willingness to disclose.
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*Communication that is anchored on intimately relevant material and explored using specific strategies that increase emotional intimacy.
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*Communication that includes circular reciprocity, allowing for one partner to influence, and be influenced by, the other.
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*Communication that has shared regulation of emotion, guided by specific principles of engagement for tension-filled topics.
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Dialogical Process
My own brand of therapy for communication problems is focused on dialogical process and most couples tell me that they experience this style of therapy as productive and creates intimacy between the partners.
Dialogical process couples therapy involves interactive, conversational exchanges between couples, coached by the clinician, focusing on increasing intimate understanding and improvement of primary concerns for the relationship. This is accomplished through structured conversations selected by the couple and clinician.
Core Principles
1. Mutual Presence and Authenticity: The couple is encouraged to engage with each other in a way that promotes curiosity, openness, empathy, and authenticity, moving away from judgment or defensive communication.
2. Deep Listening: Both partners are guided to truly listen and understand each other's perspectives without trying to impose their own views or "fix" the other person.
3. Focusing on the Process, Not Solutions: The therapist helps the couple focus on the ongoing interaction or "dialogue" between them rather than aiming to solve specific problems right away.
4. Nonlinear Change: Change is seen as an organic process that unfolds naturally through improved dialogue and deeper mutual understanding, rather than being forced through structured exercises or tasks.
5. Therapist as Coach: The therapist does not take a neutral or distant role but becomes part of the dialogical process, guiding both partners to communicate more openly and authentically.