Dr. Butch Losey

Helping couples with:

managing the crisis of infidelity,

deepening intimacy, and

bettering conflict resolution and communication skills

  • HOME

  • THERAPY OPTIONS

  • ARTICLES

  • SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS

  • CONTACT

  •  

    • All Posts
    • Infidelity
    • Communication
    • Pornography
    • Criticism
    Search
    Change Your Approach to Change Your Partner
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Dec 27, 2020
    • 3 min

    Change Your Approach to Change Your Partner

    Recently, I took out an old copy of the well-known book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. The book has the promin...
    15 views0 comments
    When your Spouse Argues it was not an Affair
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Feb 3, 2020
    • 2 min

    When your Spouse Argues it was not an Affair

    Therapists recognize that there is an accepted definition of infidelity. Even so, I routinely hear debates in my office between partners ...
    107 views0 comments
    Be a "Healing Presence" for Your Partner
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • May 21, 2019
    • 2 min

    Be a "Healing Presence" for Your Partner

    Intimate relationships can be a healing place. Moments of tension, stress and conflict in your relationship can actually be times for hea...
    106 views0 comments
    "Stop it". The Couples Therapist Frustrated Response and What He/She Really Means
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Sep 2, 2018
    • 3 min

    "Stop it". The Couples Therapist Frustrated Response and What He/She Really Means

    It's a story that I have heard before. In a previous session, a therapist has taught the couple to make "I" statements or some other comm...
    123 views0 comments
    The Intentional Use of Silence and Self in Conflict Communication
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • May 18, 2018
    • 3 min

    The Intentional Use of Silence and Self in Conflict Communication

    When I think of couples in conflict, I certainly think about how I can help the couple in therapy structure their conversation in product...
    117 views0 comments
    The Potential Dangers in Talking with Friends and Family about your Partner's Affair
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Mar 6, 2018
    • 5 min

    The Potential Dangers in Talking with Friends and Family about your Partner's Affair

    As I write this article, I am aware that I will probably sound like an alarmist, but I write this as a cautionary prelude to you sharing ...
    350 views0 comments
    Pornography: The Third Partner in Your Relationship
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Dec 18, 2017
    • 2 min

    Pornography: The Third Partner in Your Relationship

    You have felt for a while now that your partner is less intimate with you, less engaged, maybe a bit more distracted and you wonder if he...
    84 views0 comments
    Three Basic Strategies to Strengthen Commitment
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Dec 9, 2017
    • 3 min

    Three Basic Strategies to Strengthen Commitment

    The simple truth is that every couple gets busy. Personal pursuits, friends, and career can all threaten the intimacy and erode the commi...
    90 views0 comments
    Managing the Intrusive Thinking Associated with Your Partner's Affair
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Nov 10, 2017
    • 3 min

    Managing the Intrusive Thinking Associated with Your Partner's Affair

    Couples have told me that they may have sixty to seventy thoughts a day about the affair relationship. Some couples believe that they are...
    139 views0 comments
    10 Characteristics of a Trusting Partner
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Oct 15, 2017
    • 3 min

    10 Characteristics of a Trusting Partner

    Trust is not an end point or a commodity in a relationship. It is a way of being. Couples in therapy want specific interventions to recre...
    256 views0 comments
    Lying About the Affair: What Men Need to Know About Emotional and Sexual Infidelity
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Sep 10, 2017
    • 4 min

    Lying About the Affair: What Men Need to Know About Emotional and Sexual Infidelity

    It is not uncommon for couples to come to therapy distinguishing between sexual and emotional infidelity. Sometimes the distinction is ma...
    1,273 views0 comments
    Helping Your Partner Following Your Affair: Using Compassionate Response to Manage Triggering Events
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Sep 3, 2017
    • 2 min

    Helping Your Partner Following Your Affair: Using Compassionate Response to Manage Triggering Events

    As a couple's therapist working with couples recovering from infidelity, I regularly encounter situations in which the hurt partner despe...
    140 views0 comments
    Transformative Systemic Change in the Couple Therapy Experience
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Aug 10, 2017
    • 2 min

    Transformative Systemic Change in the Couple Therapy Experience

    I just returned from a 10-day intensive residential training program at the Satir Institute of the Pacific in British Columbia, Canada. I...
    140 views0 comments
    A Few Boundaries to Consider Immediately Following Discovery of an Affair
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Jul 8, 2017
    • 3 min

    A Few Boundaries to Consider Immediately Following Discovery of an Affair

    In desperate times, people do desperate things. Following the discovery of an affair, couples do things in an attempt to limit damage, ma...
    232 views0 comments
    Shared Responsibility Does Not Mean Equal Responsibility: An Approach to Infidelity Treatment
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Jun 30, 2017
    • 2 min

    Shared Responsibility Does Not Mean Equal Responsibility: An Approach to Infidelity Treatment

    Many systemic therapist believe that there is circular reciprocity in relationships. In other words, in the context of the relationship, ...
    146 views0 comments
    Porn Effects You and Your Relationship
    Dr. Butch Losey
    • Jun 25, 2017
    • 2 min

    Porn Effects You and Your Relationship

    Last week, I presented a two-day workshop on pornography and sex addiction at Xavier University. The audience was mostly grad students an...
    151 views0 comments
    {"items":["5fe7e021ef1496002d40deb5","5e35dee963074c0017307009","5ccca689d7ec5700f026b565","5ccca689d25d0f07788b0d18","5ccca68921a50b01f2184686","5ccca6897daed006e29dbb57","5ccca6899cb1a5065a02c6a2","5ccca689a08155067273c6d1","5ccca689fa961a066db56a47","5ccca689ad4742064b51e0d5","5ccca68921a50b01f2184687","5ccca689b0117e0666d649d6","5ccca68921a50b01f2184688","5ccca6891a99ec0015ecb0fb","5ccca689851b3806ed065431","5ccca689ad4742064b51e0d4"],"styles":{"galleryType":"Columns","groupSize":1,"showArrows":true,"cubeImages":true,"cubeType":"fill","cubeRatio":1.3333333333333333,"isVertical":true,"gallerySize":30,"collageAmount":0,"collageDensity":0,"groupTypes":"1","oneRow":false,"imageMargin":32,"galleryMargin":0,"scatter":0,"chooseBestGroup":true,"smartCrop":false,"hasThumbnails":false,"enableScroll":true,"isGrid":true,"isSlider":false,"isColumns":false,"isSlideshow":false,"cropOnlyFill":false,"fixedColumns":1,"enableInfiniteScroll":true,"isRTL":false,"minItemSize":50,"rotatingGroupTypes":"","rotatingCropRatios":"","columnWidths":"","gallerySliderImageRatio":1.7777777777777777,"numberOfImagesPerRow":1,"numberOfImagesPerCol":1,"groupsPerStrip":0,"borderRadius":0,"boxShadow":0,"gridStyle":1,"mobilePanorama":false,"placeGroupsLtr":false,"viewMode":"preview","thumbnailSpacings":4,"galleryThumbnailsAlignment":"bottom","isMasonry":false,"isAutoSlideshow":false,"slideshowLoop":false,"autoSlideshowInterval":4,"bottomInfoHeight":0,"titlePlacement":"SHOW_ON_THE_RIGHT","galleryTextAlign":"center","scrollSnap":false,"itemClick":"nothing","fullscreen":true,"videoPlay":"hover","scrollAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","slideAnimation":"SCROLL","scrollDirection":0,"scrollDuration":400,"overlayAnimation":"FADE_IN","arrowsPosition":0,"arrowsSize":23,"watermarkOpacity":40,"watermarkSize":40,"useWatermark":true,"watermarkDock":{"top":"auto","left":"auto","right":0,"bottom":0,"transform":"translate3d(0,0,0)"},"loadMoreAmount":"all","defaultShowInfoExpand":1,"allowLinkExpand":true,"expandInfoPosition":0,"allowFullscreenExpand":true,"fullscreenLoop":false,"galleryAlignExpand":"left","addToCartBorderWidth":1,"addToCartButtonText":"","slideshowInfoSize":200,"playButtonForAutoSlideShow":false,"allowSlideshowCounter":false,"hoveringBehaviour":"NEVER_SHOW","thumbnailSize":120,"magicLayoutSeed":1,"imageHoverAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","imagePlacementAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","calculateTextBoxWidthMode":"PERCENT","textBoxHeight":0,"textBoxWidth":200,"textBoxWidthPercent":50,"textImageSpace":10,"textBoxBorderRadius":0,"textBoxBorderWidth":0,"loadMoreButtonText":"","loadMoreButtonBorderWidth":1,"loadMoreButtonBorderRadius":0,"imageInfoType":"ATTACHED_BACKGROUND","itemBorderWidth":1,"itemBorderRadius":0,"itemEnableShadow":false,"itemShadowBlur":20,"itemShadowDirection":135,"itemShadowSize":10,"imageLoadingMode":"BLUR","expandAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","imageQuality":90,"usmToggle":false,"usm_a":0,"usm_r":0,"usm_t":0,"videoSound":false,"videoSpeed":"1","videoLoop":true,"gallerySizeType":"px","gallerySizePx":940,"allowTitle":true,"allowContextMenu":true,"textsHorizontalPadding":-30,"itemBorderColor":{"themeName":"color_12","value":"rgba(204,204,204,1)"},"showVideoPlayButton":true,"galleryLayout":2,"targetItemSize":940,"selectedLayout":"2|bottom|1|fill|true|0|true","layoutsVersion":2,"selectedLayoutV2":2,"isSlideshowFont":false,"externalInfoHeight":0,"externalInfoWidth":0.5},"container":{"width":940,"galleryWidth":972,"galleryHeight":0,"scrollBase":0,"height":null}}