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Dec 27, 2020
3 min

Change Your Approach to Change Your Partner

Recently, I took out an old copy of the well-known book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. The book has the promin...

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When your Spouse Argues it was not an Affair

Dr. Butch Losey

Feb 3, 2020
2 min

When your Spouse Argues it was not an Affair

Therapists recognize that there is an accepted definition of infidelity. Even so, I routinely hear debates in my office between partners ...

107 views0 comments

Be a "Healing Presence" for Your Partner

Dr. Butch Losey

May 21, 2019
2 min

Be a "Healing Presence" for Your Partner

Intimate relationships can be a healing place. Moments of tension, stress and conflict in your relationship can actually be times for hea...

106 views0 comments

"Stop it". The Couples Therapist Frustrated Response and What He/She Really Means

Dr. Butch Losey

Sep 2, 2018
3 min

"Stop it". The Couples Therapist Frustrated Response and What He/She Really Means

It's a story that I have heard before. In a previous session, a therapist has taught the couple to make "I" statements or some other comm...

123 views0 comments

The Intentional Use of Silence and Self in Conflict Communication

Dr. Butch Losey

May 18, 2018
3 min

The Intentional Use of Silence and Self in Conflict Communication

When I think of couples in conflict, I certainly think about how I can help the couple in therapy structure their conversation in product...

117 views0 comments

The Potential Dangers in Talking with Friends and Family about your Partner's Affair

Dr. Butch Losey

Mar 6, 2018
5 min

The Potential Dangers in Talking with Friends and Family about your Partner's Affair

As I write this article, I am aware that I will probably sound like an alarmist, but I write this as a cautionary prelude to you sharing ...

350 views0 comments

Pornography: The Third Partner in Your Relationship

Dr. Butch Losey

Dec 18, 2017
2 min

Pornography: The Third Partner in Your Relationship

You have felt for a while now that your partner is less intimate with you, less engaged, maybe a bit more distracted and you wonder if he...

84 views0 comments

Three Basic Strategies to Strengthen Commitment

Dr. Butch Losey

Dec 9, 2017
3 min

Three Basic Strategies to Strengthen Commitment

The simple truth is that every couple gets busy. Personal pursuits, friends, and career can all threaten the intimacy and erode the commi...

90 views0 comments

Managing the Intrusive Thinking Associated with Your Partner's Affair

Dr. Butch Losey

Nov 10, 2017
3 min

Managing the Intrusive Thinking Associated with Your Partner's Affair

Couples have told me that they may have sixty to seventy thoughts a day about the affair relationship. Some couples believe that they are...

139 views0 comments

10 Characteristics of a Trusting Partner

Dr. Butch Losey

Oct 15, 2017
3 min

10 Characteristics of a Trusting Partner

Trust is not an end point or a commodity in a relationship. It is a way of being. Couples in therapy want specific interventions to recre...

256 views0 comments

Lying About the Affair: What Men Need to Know About Emotional and Sexual Infidelity

Dr. Butch Losey

Sep 10, 2017
4 min

Lying About the Affair: What Men Need to Know About Emotional and Sexual Infidelity

It is not uncommon for couples to come to therapy distinguishing between sexual and emotional infidelity. Sometimes the distinction is ma...

1,273 views0 comments

Helping Your Partner Following Your Affair: Using Compassionate Response to Manage Triggering Events

Dr. Butch Losey

Sep 3, 2017
2 min

Helping Your Partner Following Your Affair: Using Compassionate Response to Manage Triggering Events

As a couple's therapist working with couples recovering from infidelity, I regularly encounter situations in which the hurt partner despe...

140 views0 comments

Transformative Systemic Change in the Couple Therapy Experience

Dr. Butch Losey

Aug 10, 2017
2 min

Transformative Systemic Change in the Couple Therapy Experience

I just returned from a 10-day intensive residential training program at the Satir Institute of the Pacific in British Columbia, Canada. I...

140 views0 comments

A Few Boundaries to Consider Immediately Following Discovery of an Affair

Dr. Butch Losey

Jul 8, 2017
3 min

A Few Boundaries to Consider Immediately Following Discovery of an Affair

In desperate times, people do desperate things. Following the discovery of an affair, couples do things in an attempt to limit damage, ma...

232 views0 comments

Shared Responsibility Does Not Mean Equal Responsibility: An Approach to Infidelity Treatment

Dr. Butch Losey

Jun 30, 2017
2 min

Shared Responsibility Does Not Mean Equal Responsibility: An Approach to Infidelity Treatment

Many systemic therapist believe that there is circular reciprocity in relationships. In other words, in the context of the relationship, ...

146 views0 comments

Dr. Butch Losey

Jun 25, 2017
2 min

Porn Effects You and Your Relationship

Last week, I presented a two-day workshop on pornography and sex addiction at Xavier University. The audience was mostly grad students an...

151 views0 comments

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Dr. Butch Losey

Helping couples with:

managing the crisis of infidelity,

deepening intimacy, and

bettering conflict resolution and communication skills

Change Your Approach to Change Your Partner

When your Spouse Argues it was not an Affair

Be a "Healing Presence" for Your Partner

"Stop it". The Couples Therapist Frustrated Response and What He/She Really Means

The Intentional Use of Silence and Self in Conflict Communication

The Potential Dangers in Talking with Friends and Family about your Partner's Affair

Pornography: The Third Partner in Your Relationship

Three Basic Strategies to Strengthen Commitment

Managing the Intrusive Thinking Associated with Your Partner's Affair

10 Characteristics of a Trusting Partner

Lying About the Affair: What Men Need to Know About Emotional and Sexual Infidelity

Helping Your Partner Following Your Affair: Using Compassionate Response to Manage Triggering Events

Transformative Systemic Change in the Couple Therapy Experience

A Few Boundaries to Consider Immediately Following Discovery of an Affair

Shared Responsibility Does Not Mean Equal Responsibility: An Approach to Infidelity Treatment

Porn Effects You and Your Relationship